My mom is 76 and is collecting her own SSA of $872.00 per month. My dad just passed recently but they have been divorced for 45 years and she was married to him for 12 years. We received a letter from SSA that her benefits will now increase by $931.00 on top of her $872 for a total of around $1700. This new amount will disqualify her for the special assistance she is receiving for an assisted living facility. Can we deny the extra benefits for ex spouses?

Hi. I'm sorry for your loss. If your mother wasn't already receiving divorced spousal benefits in addition to her own benefits then she would have been required to apply for survivor benefits in order to start receiving them. So, if your mother didn't recently apply for survivor benefits, she must have already been receiving divorced spousal benefits.

If your mother wasn't receiving divorced spousal benefits prior to your father's death then she could withdraw the survivor application that must have recently filed. But, if your mother was already receiving divorced spousal benefits prior to your father's death, then the conversion of her divorced spousal benefits to survivor benefits is automatic. In that case, the only way that she could avoid receiving survivor benefits is if she withdraws the application that she filed for divorced spousal benefits, which was likely filed long ago. And, in order to be allowed to withdraw that application, your mother would have to repay all of the divorced spousal and survivor benefits that she's been paid.

If you're unsure whether or not your mother was receiving divorced spousal benefits prior to your father's death, you'll probably need to contact Social Security to find out.

Best, Jerry