Hello! Not to be indelicate, but how do I know if my ex-husband has passed away? I assumed Social Security would tell ME. (I can supply his full name, DOB, and SS#.)

But in Get What’s Yours (p. 240, revised edition) Larry writes that SS doesn’t know whether your ex-spouse died. “You must tell the agency.”

I am 67, my ex is 65, and we were married for 13 years. We’ve been divorced 20+ years and I never remarried. We have no children together and no mutual friends, and live in different parts of the country—in other words, no contact.

Knowing whether I have outlived him could make a big difference in maxing out my benefits.

I have never seen this question addressed in any book or column over the years. Please help. Thanks!

Julie

Hi Julie. In most cases Social Security does in fact know if a person has died. Death information is reported to Social Security by funeral homes and via interfaces with the death registries in many states. However, it's possible that Social Security wouldn't be aware of a person's death, and in many cases the privacy act prevents Social Security from sharing the information that they do have in their records with anyone other than the individual themselves.

So, in other words, you can't rely on Social Security to have information about the death of an ex-spouse. But, if you're potentially eligible for benefits on the record of an ex-spouse then Social Security should in the majority of cases be able to explain your options in a manner that would let you know whether or not your ex is living or deceased. For one thing, the privacy act basically doesn't apply once an individual is deceased, so if Social Security's records show that your ex is deceased then they should be able to share that information with you.

My expertise is limited to Social Security benefits, so I don't know what other avenues you might have to determine whether or not your ex-spouse is deceased. You could apply for a death certificate, but that would only be successful if your ex has died and if you know the state in which he died.

Best, Jerry