You indicated Social Security could provide me with information about an ex-spouse; such as whether they are deceased (to file for survivor benefits) and whether any of them (more than one) were collecting benefits on my earnings record. I called them and after numerous questions about MY past employment, etc., they said they could not verify my ID, and I needed to come in their office in person, with an ID, and a copy of my marriage license.
Is this SOP, (standard operating procedure) for SSA?
Does SSA even have a record of spouses, marriages/divorces or do you need to provide proof and walk in to their offices in person? SSA claims most business can be handled over the phone; apparently this is NOT the case.
Would I need an appointment, or do I stand in line for hours?

Hi,

Yes, due to the Privacy Act Social Security representatives must be absolutely certain of a person's identity before releasing information from their records to them. And, they need to know that you would in fact potentially qualify for benefits on an ex-spouse's record before releasing information about potential divorced spousal benefits on their record.

Social Security does not normally have evidence of marriages or divorces in their records unless such records were submitted as part of a claim for benefits. They do ask for marital histories on most applications, but do not verify the information unless it's required in order to establish benefit entitlement.

I don't know why Social Security wasn't satisfied with being able to verify your identity by phone, but visiting an office would probably be your only other option. You may be able to make an appointment to file a claim for divorced spousal benefits by calling Social Security, but that may not be possible if they can't identify a Social Security number for your ex. Waiting times at Social Security offices vary, so I don't know how long you may have to wait if you don't have an appointment.

Best, Jerry